In an age where AI and Machine Learning are the buzzwords of the day, it is easy to forget that there are still people behind businesses. Do you recognise and appreciate your employees, co-workers and leaders? Appreciated people unlock engagement.

Much has been said in the field of employee engagement; we all know the power of having engaged, proactive employees. It is however easy to forget the small stuff – to appreciate. And more importantly, to appreciate someone in a way that makes the biggest impact for them. In a nutshell, satisfaction levels are significantly influenced by whether someone feels appreciated.

I recently finished reading The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Gary Chapman and I would like to share some of my learnings with you.

We are all different

I’m not referring to physical appearance or even intellectual ability; we all have different ways of enjoying appreciation. And one of the biggest mistakes we make in business is to paint everyone with the same brush. The publicly announced long-service award. The outing for “team-building”. The year-end party. As much as we would like to believe this is “appreciation”, we might be missing the mark.

Appreciation should be much more than this. It’s about the person, the specific person, you’re trying to appreciate. And it’s about appreciation, not recognition. As leaders, it is crucial that we add that extra bit because that is how we let people know they are really appreciated, as opposed to simply being one of the team.

You need to get out of your comfort zone and appreciate

I’ve already alluded to the biggest challenge – it’s about the specific person you’re trying to appreciate, in other words, you need to communicate appreciation in a way best suited to the other person, not you! This is hard, especially when deadlines are looming and tasks need completing, or where their way of appreciation is the exact opposite of yours. It is however much more impactful if you can communicate in this way.

Key to this is, of course, understanding the people you work with. A few ways of finding out what type of appreciation they prefer:

1. Consider how they would typically dish out appreciation, or
2. Consider how they would react to various types of appreciation you provide (assuming you do vary how you do it of course)
3. Simply ask
4. Go to www.mbainventory.com and read more about the online assessment available.

The 5 Languages of Appreciation

As easy as it might sound, there are 5 languages of appreciation, and within each of these are of course various “dialects” to consider. I’ll only outline them briefly and will leave it up to you to consider, ponder and decide how to practically do.

1. Words of Affirmation
   1. In other words, verbally communicating appreciation.
   2. This can be used to praise accomplishments, the affirmation of character or affirmation of personality.
   3. Methods include verbally one-on-one, in small groups or publicly. Or written of course.
2. Quality Time
   1. In other words, pausing and expressing genuine interest by investing a little time in the person.
   2. Key is to apply the principles of active listening, and really mean it!
   3. Methods include quality one-on-one conversation, small group dialogue, shared experiences or working together in close proximity.
3. Acts of Service
   1. In other words, taking action and helping to show appreciation.
   2. This is not meant as a way to “do their work for them” but rather to show you value the individual by assisting.
   3. Key is to serve voluntarily, with a positive attitude and always communicate your limitations.
4. Tangible Gifts
   1. In other words, giving a non-monetary gift. PS: A raise or bonus is NOT a gift of appreciation!
   2. Key is to get something that reflects the time spent considering what would be most appropriate for them.
   3. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a “thing”, an experiential gift can work just as well (or even better).
5. Physical Touch
   1. In other words, using affirming touch. PS: By default, this is a bit of a minefield and I implore you to ensure that you apply touch appropriately.
   2. Key is using non-sexual, affirming touch, and to make sure that it is welcomed by simply asking, or carefully reading the person’s body language.
   3. Methods include a proper handshake, pat on the back, high-five or fist-bump.

I hope my learnings are valuable to you as well.

Thanks for your time,

Francis